The "Bumper Car Psychos" are easy to spot. While the other bumper cars at New Jersey's Keansburg Amusement Park spin wildly from one collision to the next, the Psychos cruise gracefully around the track, grinning from ear to ear as they slam their targets into the wall.Awesome. I love driving around in a bumper car and just blindsiding people. These guys do it all the time.
That's not the only reason the Psychos stand out. Keith Van Brunt and Tom Mgerack both weigh upwards of 300 pounds, and both are heavily tattooed. They've been riding the old bumper cars here every Friday night since 1996. Someone started calling them "psycho" the following year, and the name just stuck.
"For me, it's kind of like an adrenaline rush," says Van Brunt. "You know, some people jump out of planes for adrenaline rushes? Bumper cars, that's like my adrenaline rush."
For Mgerack, the ride is an escape from mundane problems: "You're concentrating on what's going on in there, and you're looking to who you're going to go after next, or look to see who' s coming to get you," he says. "Keeps you out of trouble."
The Bumper Car Psychos always ride the same cars: Van Brunt likes the blue police car, while Mgerack prefers the red one with the Harley-Davidson logo. The men have learned to maneuver these classic cars with uncanny precision, even through the floor's coating of kerosene and graphite that keeps the ride slick.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
The Bumper Car Psychos
All Things Considered:
Friday, September 7, 2012
Washington State Agriculture Facts
Didn't know this, until I looked at Big Picture Agriculture (well, I did know about the apples):
Washington State ranks first for growing:
apples
hops
sweet cherries
Concord juice grapes
mint & spearmint oil
pears
processing of carrots
processing of raspberries
It is number two in the nation for producing:
onions
nectarines
potatoes
sweet corn
asparagus
It also grows or produces:
wheat
wine
chickpeas
peppers
(and much more…)
The Mid-Columbian region of the state grows most of the crops, and is highly reliant upon irrigation.
A Sensible Small Businessperson
All Things Considered:
CORNISH: New Belgium is a Colorado-based beer company. And it's doing well, $140 million in sales last year alone.She built that, along with a lot of other people. So humility actually exists among some entrepreneurs? That's good to know, because it is a pretty good virtue. Maybe some self-professed Christians might find some of that. And labor deserves some credit in a successful business? What a novel idea.
I asked Kim Jordan why she was in Charlotte, when so many of her fellow CEO's are supporting Mitt Romney.
JORDAN: For me, it's important to understand that, you know, my coworkers and I put our collective shoulders to the wheel to build equity; that I can't get all of the beer that we make out of the door by myself. It takes the effort of a lot of people who - I watch them, they're incredibly dedicated. So I'm comfortable with the notion that you pool your labor, you build equity. And for me, I want to share that.
And so, if you operate under a model that says that strangers who - granted, they have put money into your business to help it grow - if you believe that those people should have a higher return than the people that you work with, then I suppose you see the Republican mindset as being more aligned with what you think.
CORNISH: Now, going into the next year, there's question marks about tax policy and there's been so much, essentially, uncertainty for business owners. How are you feeling about that? Do you agree with that?
JORDAN: You know, anyone who has started a business knows that there's a lot of uncertainty in the world and you just kind of have to decide what's important to you and go forward always kind of keeping that in mind. I think certainly there will be tax implications. And while I can't sit here and say, oh, I love that, I also think, you know, to whom much is granted much is expected.
Speaking of the Ravens...
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe wades into the Maryland gay marriage fight after a State rep got mad about the Ravens linebacker expressing himself (the whole thing is worth publishing from Deadspin, via Balloon Juice):
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.That is great. The conservatives have lost on this issue. They haven't yet lost a statewide vote, and they may not this year, but I really think they will. And when they do, they will be fighting a slow withdrawal, as gay marriage becomes the interracial marriage of the past. I felt in 2004 when Ohio passed the anti-gay marriage amendment to the state constitution that they would get rid of it in 20 years and look back at how stupid everyone was. I really think now that it will be sooner than that. Congratulations to Chris Kluwe for calling this "representative" out.
Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,
I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.
2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").
3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.
Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe
P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.
For Browns Fans
RIP Art Modell:
Yeah, he had to get out of Cleveland to win again. I always hated him until the day he beat Mike Brown to the punch and moved the Browns to Baltimore. I walked into a bar my senior year in college for a Monday Night Football drink and food special, and got that wonderful news. I then fully took advantage of the cheap drinks celebrating.
Yeah, he had to get out of Cleveland to win again. I always hated him until the day he beat Mike Brown to the punch and moved the Browns to Baltimore. I walked into a bar my senior year in college for a Monday Night Football drink and food special, and got that wonderful news. I then fully took advantage of the cheap drinks celebrating.
The Cy-Hawk Trophy
Tomorrow at 3:30, Iowa and Iowa State will battle for maybe the most frequently redesigned trophy amongst all of the storied college football rivalry trophies, the Cy-Hawk Trophy. In the past, the trophy was kind of boring:
But last year, the Iowa Corn Growers unveiled one of the greatest bits of corporate propaganda ever:
Seriously, if I were an Iowan, I'd bring back the original. I do love the ridiculousness of last year's trophy. Maybe people would have appreciated it more if somebody from the government was featured giving the farmer a direct payment.
And if you missed it last night, Cincinnati beat Pitt for the also awful Paddlewheel trophy.
"I think they can do better," Gov. Terry Branstad chuckled Monday when asked about the trophy. "I'm sure they're going to take another look at that."So this year we have something looking like this:
Critics seem to find the trophy of a farm family around a bushel of corn and a corn stalk a little bit, well, corny. Since its unveiling Friday at the Iowa State Fair, the trophy has been widely panned and compared to a garage sale leftover or a fireplace mantel centerpiece.
Newspaper and television websites have been filled with people unhappy about the new trophy, which was sponsored by the Iowa Corn Growers Association. Former coach and Hawkeyes legend Hayden Fry said the trophy is "nice-looking," but it doesn't relate to football.
"The farmer, family and corn is all wonderful, but I don't really get the relationship to a football game," he told The Des Moines Register.
Others were less diplomatic.
"Gosh, you don't suppose it's advertising?" asked Bob Uetz, an Ames High School teacher who helped renew the football series in 1977. "That thing is awful, my God."
Mike Ellis, who makes trophies for American Awards in Des Moines, said the new Cy-Hawk trophy was "a little weird for a sports trophy."
"Seems like something you'd see at the state fair," he said.
And if you missed it last night, Cincinnati beat Pitt for the also awful Paddlewheel trophy.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Curvy Glasses Mean Faster Drinking?
The Scientist:
I guess I could tell that it took a while longer to drink the top part of the curved 22 oz beers, and that once you got to the bottom half it would go a lot quicker. It didn't take a long time to figure that one out. It is really noticeable if you buy a glass when you have to leave soon, then try to finish it quickly. The top part takes a lot out of you.
Different glass shapes can give the same volume of liquid the appearance of varying volumes, reasoned experimental psychologist Angela Attwood of the University of Bristol. So she and her colleagues set out to test how much glass shape affected beer drinkers’ intake. They tested 160 healthy young people, who were categorized as “social beer drinks,” not alcoholics, according to the standard WHO test for hazardous drinking. The researchers then asked each participant to drink one of two volumes of lager or soft drink—either 177 milliliters or 354 milliliters—from either a straight or curved glasses, while watching a nature documentary. At the end of each session, the participants performed a word search task, the purpose of which was merely to throw them off the true purpose of the study.
Reviewing the data, the researchers found that people drinking a full glass of beer from a curved glass drank significantly faster—in about 8 minutes, compared to the average 13 minutes it took people drinking from a straight glass. They found no differences in drinking time, however, between curved and straight glasses of half a beer.
According to Attwood, social beer drinkers naturally pace their drinking by judging how quickly they reach the halfway point. Because a curved glass holds more beer in the top half, it unconsciously motivates drinkers to speed up, reasons Attwood, who suggests a solution of marking beer glasses with a half-full line.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Dickey Wins His 18th
ESPN:
R.A. Dickey had more than enough to hold off the St. Louis Cardinals and become the first pitcher in the majors to reach 18 wins this season.The guy has an amazing case for the Cy Young. Johnny Cueto also has a good case, and as a Reds fan, I'd love to see somebody from Cincinnati win it for the first time ever, but I'm pulling for Dickey.
He didn't have his best stuff, but still managed to strengthen his case in the NL Cy Young Award race.Dickey was backed by Ike Davis' three-run homer that powered the New York Mets to a 6-2 victory over the Cardinals on Wednesday.The knuckleballer allowed two runs in 6 2/3 innings en route to his 18th win, the first Mets pitcher to reach the mark since Frank Viola (20-12) and Dwight Gooden (19-7) both did it in 1990. Dickey (18-4) gave up eight hits and struck out five to help New York salvage a win to close out the three-game series."It was a battle for me," Dickey said. "I didn't really have a great feel for (the knuckleball) early on. I threw a couple of more fastballs than I ordinarily would have."I'm pleased with the results, but obviously I have a little bit of work to do."Dickey should have five more starts as he tries to become a 20-game winner, which would further bolster his Cy Young resume. Considering where Dickey was just a few years ago -- in the minors trying to refine his knuckleball -- Mets manager Terry Collins said it has been an incredible journey.
World Records Fall
ADN:
Bonus points for corny local news guy joke at the end.
At a fair where cabbage is king, Steve Hubacek is the undisputed king of them all.Also:
Hubacek broke his own world record Friday when his enormous cabbage "The Beast" weighed in at 127 pounds at the Alaska State Fair's annual Giant Cabbage Weigh-Off.That's more than a pound heavier than another world-record-breaking cabbage Hubacek also grew this summer. He entered the smaller one in the "green cabbage" category Wednesday in the fair's general crop exhibits contest, where it weighed in at 125.9 pounds. That green behemoth broke a 20-year-old record set by a cabbage grower from Wales in the United Kingdom. State fair officials said that prior to the 1989 mark, the cabbage record had stood for more than a century.Hubacek, who lives south of Wasilla, said he had hardly taken time to appreciate crashing the international record Wednesday before he immediately turned his attention to readying "The Beast" for its fair journey.Before Friday's weigh-off began, several fair-goers posed with the cruciferous giant. While Hubacek kept an eye on his contender, he discussed his passion for growing big cabbage, a 14-year hobby. He wouldn't give up any growing secrets or reveal the variety of seed he uses. But he said he had nearly given up hope that his secret cabbage seed would ever produce a world-record holder.
Over the weekend Minnesota's Black Bear Casino broke the Guinness record for world's biggest hamburger. Local publication the Duluth News Tribune reported yesterday that the burger clocks in at just over one ton (2,014 pounds), has a diamater of ten feet, and contains "60 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of lettuce, 50 pounds of sliced onions, 40 pounds of pickles and 40 pounds of cheese."
It took four hours to cook the burger and the patty was flipped using a crane. It took seven hours to bake the bun. The casino flew in a Guinness official, Philip Robertson, who said of the stunt, "What I saw today was a feat of remarkable teamwork that resulted in a world record burger that actually tastes really good." The previous record was at 881 pounds. Is there video? Yes, there's video:
Bonus points for corny local news guy joke at the end.
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