Guys' Wedding Toasts Versus Girls' Speeches

A question from the mailbag gets Katie Baker on the subject of toast speeches:

We go up in large groups at a time and break out novelty speeches that might as well be ripped out of the magazines we read and the TV shows we watch ("25 Reasons Why Molly and Matt Are the Best Couple EVER!" featuring a rotating five-person panel of talking heads). We assume that the inside jokes that make us cry with laughter when we're poolside or at brunch are going to appeal to everyone — anyone — else. We think that the more obscure the memory, the more it proves how strongly we're BFF4evs. (The scene from Bridesmaids with the engagement party toast one-upmanship is a good example of that.)
The guys' speeches, on the other hand, while always imbued with the crackling danger of marriage-ruining downside — if you find yourself about to utter the phrases "former man-whore" or "never remembered their names," for the love of God STOP — are generally shorter and sweeter and less grandly conceived. They come a lot closer to following the simple "3-1-2" format recommended at the very end of this useful guide to giving good toast. They do a better job of sticking to what I've always considered to be the best rule of thumb: If you're not going to be funny, be brief.
Of course, it's a little unfair, because the guys have this distinct advantage: Literally the only thing they have to do to bring hands to hearts and tears to eyes is to tell the bride she's so beautiful and she's the best thing that's ever happened to their buddy. Seriously, next time someone says this, look around and watch the room literally melt. It's not fair.

One of the funniest, most uncomfortable speeches ever?  When my roommate's brother made up the entire best man speech because he really didn't want his brother to marry his sister-in-law, and wanted to give all of us in the know some classic entertainment.  One of the wierdest?  When my other roommate's brother started talking about turds.  There are a number of other classics, almost all delivered by guys (with a couple notable exceptions).  Good times.