The Danger of Loneliness

Jessica Olien:

Loneliness is not just making us sick, it is killing us. Loneliness is a serious health risk. Studies of elderly people and social isolation concluded that those without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely.

The increased mortality risk is comparable to that from smoking. And loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity.

Social isolation impairs immune function and boosts inflammation, which can lead to arthritis, type II diabetes, and heart disease. Loneliness is breaking our hearts, but as a culture we rarely talk about it.

Loneliness has doubled: 40 percent of adults in two recent surveys said they were lonely, up from 20 percent in the 1980s...In terms of human interactions, the number of people we know is not the best measure. In order to be socially satisfied, we don’t need all that many people. According to Cacioppo the key is in the quality, not the quantity of those people. We just need several on whom we can depend and who depend on us in return.

She quotes somebody who says that admitting we feel lonely marks us out as losers.  I know that when I get into a funk, I definitely feel like there is something seriously wrong with me.  But instead of avoiding people, I generally go find some bar to hang out in and drink beer.  After a while, somebody I know will come in, and I'll shoot the shit for a while.  Probably not the best idea, but at least I'm not totally avoiding people.  And when I am really down, I'll call some of those folks on whom I can depend, and unload some of that bile that's built up inside of me.  As it is, what I've found is that avoiding people is the worst thing I could do.  Being alone with my thoughts is scary enough, but being alone with my negative thoughts is terrifying.  I'm much better off making small talk with somebody and laughing than I am contemplating all my sad interpersonal thoughts along with all the work that has to get done at my job, all the things that need done in my dysfunctional cattle operation, and everything else that keeps me from sleeping.