Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Is This Groundhog Day?

So today the great threat to western civilization is ISIS (or ISIL or IS...fuck, I don't know).  Yesterday it was Putin.  Or Gaddafi (or however you spell his name, it's been spelled a lot of ways over the 25 years he was one of the top public enemies).  Or the Taliban.  Or Al-Queda.  Or just Bin Laden.  Or Saddam Hussein.  Or Kim Jong-Un.  Or Kim Jong-Il before that. Or the Ayatollah.  We've always got somebody who wants to take away our freedoms and end the American way of life, and if we don't stand up to them, we are just like Chamberlain in Munich, and the new Hitler-of-the-day will kill all the Jews (which apparently is us), and history will judge us accordingly.  Well fuck that.  I'm so goddamned tired of hearing that bullshit over and over.  ISIS, or ISIL, or whatever the fuck their name is, is not a threat to our way of life.  If they want to fly the flag of the Caliphate over the White House, I don't give a fuck, because it is much more likely that I'll have sex with Kate Upton tonight. 

I just don't understand the psyche of the American people.  How can the beheadings of two unfortunate journalists make people forget that we spent a dozen years fighting Islamic radicals, and all we did was end up handing them control of more places (From just Afghanistan and Somalia to Afghanistan, Somalia, much of Iraq, much of Syria, Libya, Yemen, Egypt...) than when we started?  And why do people keep getting the idea that somebody is going to come to this country and "take away our freedoms?"  If anybody would do that, and they've been working on it, it would be our own government.  It's not like this massive invading army is going to set sail across the ocean, storm our beaches and then sweep across the country enslaving the freedom-loving, but outgunned American people.  And as great as the supposed threat of ABBA, or, I mean ISIS is, the warmongers can't convince the brave American people to do anything but support air strikes, because we did learn over the last 13 years that ground wars suck, and are unwinnable for us anyway, so we may as well just indiscriminately kill people in Muslim countries from the air. 

But what kind of threat is ISIS anyway?  Al-Queda got ridiculously lucky, and unfortunately killed almost 3,000 Americans.  But in spite of all the stupid things we did afterwards, our way-of-life continued, although forever changed by our unnecessary fear.  Let's suppose that ISIS was more than three times as successful in killing Americans as Al-Queda was.  That would be a tragedy, but life would continue.  10,000 Americans killed by ISIS would still be less than the number of Americans murdered by other Americans with firearms in a year; would still be less than the number of Americans who took their own lives in a year; would still be less than the number of Americans killed in about four months in automobile accidents.  Yet, few people push to ban guns, even fewer push to ban cars, and nobody proposes spending billions and billions of dollars to try to prevent those deaths.  The President and Congress may agree to attack ISIS, but I will consider it a waste of time, innocent lives and huge amounts of money.  Fuck that shit, and fuck the people who use stupid scare tactics to try to convince me to agree to waste all that.

1 comment:

  1. And don't forget those terrorist kids trying to attack us from El Salvador or wherever. If there's one thing this country can do and do well, it's create a boogeyman from out of nowhere. If we'd drop all the money we blow chasing supposed villains all over creation we'd have the ability to create a country unmatched by any other.

    Seriously though, ABBA was a real threat.