Classic Jack Handey

As an antidote to the Congressional idiocy the last couple weeks, The New Yorker links to some of Jack Handey's stories they've published over the years.  Dude, that guy is hilarious, and very, very weird.  Here's a sample from one of his stories:

You will never know what it’s like to work on a farm until your hands are raw, just so people can have fresh marijuana. Or what it’s like to go to a factory and put in eight long hours and then go home and realize that you went to the wrong factory.
I don’t hate you; I pity you. You will never appreciate the magnificent beauty of a double rainbow, or the plainness of a regular rainbow.
You will never grasp the quiet joy of holding your own baby, or the quiet comedy of handing him back to his “father.”

The man is a comedy genius.