Bad Idea #4,279

Using a potato as a birth control device:

A 22-year-old woman in Honda, Colombia, was recently admitted to a local hospital after complaining of abject abdominal pain. The culprit? A germinating potato inside her vagina.

“My mom told me that if I didn’t want to get pregnant, I should put a potato up there, and I believed her,” the presumably mortified patient told the hospital staff.
We all know what happens to a neglected tuber: roots, and lots of them. In the young woman’s case, those dogged sprouts proliferated over a couple weeks’ time, leading to her intense discomfort and eventually making an, um, external appearance (we’re treading so lightly here). Thankfully, the dud of a spud was removed sans surgical intervention, and the woman was expected to recover fully. No further details were provided, nor needed.

Yikes.  I'm not going to add anything to that.