In Memoriam

My maternal grandmother died last night.  In a most likely unrelated development, Canadian Club manufacturer Fortune Brands stock price fell today.  Every Christmas after I turned 21, my gift to her was a half-gallon of CC.  Many years, she would receive 5 half-gallons and a fifth as gifts at Christmas.  This would last her through Mardi Gras, except in years when Easter was late.  She really thought that was as good of a gift as she could get. 

Grandma was from the last generation of life on the farm that was all backbreaking labor and drudgery.  She would tell us stories about her family butchering the hogs, and curing and wrapping the hams, and hanging them on the porch.  The pork loins were sliced and laid in buckets and covered over with lard.  She would be sent down to the cellar to dig through the lard and pull out some loins for supper.  Every once in a while, grandma would get nostalgic about the good old days, and once I asked her, "if they were so good, why didn't you still butcher hogs."  She told me that she never wanted to do that work again.  It was a reminder for me that if farmers were still using horses and shucking corn by hand, I would almost certainly be in another line of work.  The people who did that work are leaving the land of the living.

Besides her family and her neighbors, grandma will be missed by the Republican party.  She could always be counted on for a donation to Newt or Boehner, especially if she had already had her drinks for the evening.  She would say that she felt bad for poor Bush, everybody picked on him and called him dumb.  I tried to tell her, they generally had a point, but she didn't listen.  Even when her mind had faded, and she didn't really know what was going on, she knew that she didn't like Nancy Pelosi.

She wasn't a fan of practitioners of the medical arts, and tried to avoid doctors as much as possible. I believe she was born on the farm, and she could remember how many times someone in her family of 12 went to the hospital.  I believe it was less than 12. A few years ago, she had a joint replacement surgery, and it was almost postponed because she had a low potassium level.  After the surgery, her potassium level dropped, her heart stopped, and they had to use the paddles to bring her back.  The doctor told her that she was dead for a little while there.  She responded that she was not dead, because she didn't see any bright lights or angels.  My question to her was if she felt any heat or smelled sulfur (I am an ass, I know).  She used to tell us that when things got grim, she wanted us to call Dr. Kevorkian, but alas, he was forcibly retired and she didn't need him anyway.  She managed to go from home to the hospital, rest for a couple of days, and then she got to see the bright lights and angels.