Sound and Fury

Farmers are once again playing the role of useful idiots for anti-regulation jackasses when it comes to panicking over upcoming EPA rule-making:

The Environmental Protection Agency is set to issue regulations that farmers like Mr. Lemke say may require them to get permits for work for which they have long been exempt. The E.P.A. says the new rules are needed to clarify which bodies of water it must oversee under the federal Clean Water Act, an issue of jurisdiction that the agency says has been muddled by recent court rulings. Opponents say the rules are a power grab that could stifle economic growth and intrude on property owners’ rights.
There is no timetable for when the rules will be released. But if the agency expands its jurisdiction over streams like the one on Mr. Lemke’s farm, he and other farmers say, the move could prove costly by requiring farmers to pay fees for environmental assessments and to get permits just to till the soil near gullies, ditches or dry streambeds where water only flows when it rains. A permit is required for any activity, like farming or construction, that creates a discharge into a body of water covered under the Clean Water Act or affects the health of it, like filling in a wetland or blocking a stream.
The proposed regulations have also raised concerns among industries beyond agriculture, and objections have been filed by several groups.

Folks on the other side of the issue say farmers need to take a chill pill:

Conservation groups, which have pushed for the regulations, say farmers’ concerns are overblown.
Jan Goldman-Carter, a lawyer who works with the National Wildlife Federation on water issues, said the proposals outlined regulatory exemptions that have been in place for decades for plowing, planting, harvesting and maintaining drainage ditches. She said a copy of the draft regulations that was leaked last year clearly shows that to be the case.
“The draft guidance is clear that irrigation ditches, drainage ponds and even groundwater are not considered waters of the U.S. Nor are gullies, rills, swales and other erosional features,” she said. “This has been explained over and over again.” Industry claims that ditches or groundwater might be covered under the new regulations are “just wrong,” she said.
Mrs. Goldman-Carter said the draft copy showed that the regulations would increase the E.P.A.’s jurisdiction over streams by about 3 percent. That is hardly a power grab, she said. Nancy Stoner, the E.P.A.’s acting assistant administrator for water, said the agency had been working with the agriculture industry to make sure its concerns about the proposed rules were addressed. “Our goal is to clarify the types of waters that are covered by the Clean Water Act, offer increased certainty to regulated entities, and keep in place exemptions and exclusions for farming, ranching and forestry,” Ms. Stoner said. Don Parrish, senior director of regulatory relations with the American Farm Bureau Federation, acknowledges that the draft regulations do detail exemptions for agriculture. But he said the E.P.A. and the Army Corps of Engineers have a lot of authority to interpret the rules as they choose, despite reassurances from Tom Vilsack, the agriculture secretary, and agency officials that farm work will not be curtailed.

I'm sure most farmers won't believe me, but EPA is way too overloaded and underfunded to worry about all the absolutely stupid things farmers do on their land.  You've got to dump 10,000 gallons of hog shit in a creek and kill every fish for three miles to get in any trouble with EPA when it comes to agriculture.  On top of that, the last thing people from EPA want to have to do is to deal with every ass-backward farmer in the entire Corn Belt about plowing and spraying.  It is bad enough for them that they have to deal with small businessmen who are clueless about regulations and think EPA is coming with the black helicopters to throw them in Gitmo for farting.

A few years back, I did a little bit of Section 404 and 401 permitting, which really did suck.  I'm guessing that at this point things have been somewhat streamlined, because the first run at things was extremely confusing and amorphous.  There is no way in Hell that most farmers would need to go through that permitting.  I took a look at the regulations, and didn't really see anything that would negatively impact farmers east of the 98th meridian, as compared to previous understanding of the regulations.

It tends to bother me that so many people work so hard to drum up the most ridiculous fears among farmers about EPA.  I've done a good bit of work with the agency, and as long as you are willing to work with them and don't go out of your way to piss them off, and you aren't clearly and intentionally violating the law, they will work with you pretty well.  Most farmers I know have never dealt with EPA, and don't really know anybody who has, but they've heard all the rural legends about catching cow flatulence, collecting bean dust from the combine and having to get a permit to plow.  It's all bullshit, and the Farm Bureau is terrible about hyping those fears.  That is detrimental to the country at large, but personally, it gives me a great opportunity to free ride on their work.  I can feel confident knowing that Farm Bureau will stir up all the farmers to bother their congressmen about EPA destroying agriculture, and keep EPA far, far from regulating farms.  Sure, I think they are crazy, but it does guarantee that I can continue to say that all their scary stories are bullshit.