Sunday, March 31, 2013

Impulse Buys

I'm not usually the best mark for stores trying to get people to make impulse buys, but last night I went to Tipp City and, while I was in the vicinity, I stopped by the Menards store.  I usually intend to just buy myself a 5 pound bag of salted peanuts-in-the-shell.  But as I was headed by, I picked up a couple bags of soynuts (which were a previous impulse buy there, and are kind of addicting).  Then I couldn't find the bag of peanuts near the checkout lines, so I had to go back to the food section.  Before I found the aisle with the peanuts in it, I saw this:
My first reaction as I passed by was, "How big of a redneck do you have to be to buy a bag of potato chips from Larry the Cable Guy?"  After grabbing the peanuts and heading back by, I began to think, "Heck, cheeseburgers are my all-time favorite food, and potato chips are in the top 5 or 10.  I wonder how they would be together?"  So I stopped and picked up a bag. 

Now it would seem like that was plenty of impulse buying for a person who claims to not usually give in to such things, but I wasn't done yet.  One the way back out, I passed by a stand with DVDs and CDs.  Now I've had a DVD player for 3 or 4 years, and only have like three movies at home.  I stopped to see if there were any I might be interested in, and ended up picking up the Ron Howard Spotlight Series, with A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, Cinderella Man, and Backdraft.  I've seen and enjoyed all of these but Cinderella Man, and I've wanted to see it because I love the sport of boxing, and sappy movies aren't bad either.  So I ended up buying it, too. 

So in the impulsive mood I was in, I cracked open the bag of potato chips and tried one to see if they tasted like a juicy burger just off of the grill.  Holy shit, they tasted just like the crap on a McDonalds cheeseburger if they don't remember to give me a plain burger.  It was the exact taste of what I associate with McDonalds' mustard, pickle and onions.  Apparently, that is what they are going for:
This flavor from Larry the Cable Guy looked like ordinary potato chips, as there wasn't any seasoning powder on the surfaces, a sharp contrast to the Buffalo Wing flavor, which was overloaded with powder. The lack of powder didn't seem to matter as far as taste, as I crunched in to find that there was a decent crispness and just the slightest crunch, but lots of tasty flavor. It didn't really taste like an actual cheeseburger, with nothing resembling beef, but it did taste precisely like the mix of condiments on your typical fast-food cheeseburger (i.e. McDonald's), with pickles, mustard and cheese dominating. A very good taste.
Well, to me, they taste like a fucked up order at McDonald's.  I can't imagine that there are people who consider that the taste of a cheeseburger.  It was a quick and brutal reminder that I should know better than to give in to buying something that almost certainly sucks.  Lesson learned. Looks like I'll find out if cows will eat 99% of a bag of Larry the Cable Guy Cheese Burger Tater Chips.

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