Back At Chase Bank

Considering my history with Chase Bank, it may sound strange that I just opened up a new checking account there.  But, actually, there's a really simple explanation: I'm a whore.  Like the legendary welfare queen, I'll try to get any money for nothing, and that is exactly what Chase offered.  Apparently, the bank needs to draw in customers in order to get new hosts they can parasitically latch onto and extract fees from.  So they sent me a card in the mail offering $200 for opening up a checking account (they also put a $150 offer in the local coupon mailer, so its not like this is a limited offer).  You only needed to deposit $100, but to avoid fees, the balance would have to be $1500.  Then you had to keep the account open for at least 6 months.  Six months to get $200 on $1500 is 26.67% APY, and that ain't too shabby (I wonder if the use the deposits to fund credit card loans). 

So, obviously, I took them up on the deal.  I kind of see it as getting back at one of the too-big-to-fail banks that loots our economy and steals from people of modest means.  I figure if Jamie Dimon and his henchmen are willing to give me $200 for nothing, they can't be the financial geniuses they claim to be to justify their criminal salaries.  Anyway, that's one way I justify taking 20 minutes out of my life to sign up for a useless checking account in order to score $200.  It sounds a lot better than saying insatiable greed drove me to it.  That would be way too Jamie Dimon-like.