Friday, January 31, 2014

Colorado Congressman Wagers Mountain Oysters on Super Bowl

 From Modern Farmer:
In the spirit of sportsmanship, the congressional delegations of both Colorado and Washington bet local goods on the upcoming Super Bowl between the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks. But the wager from Colorado Representative Cory Gardner (CO-4) might put the stomach of Washington's politicians to the testes. Er, excuse us. Test.
Offers from the other representatives are about what you would expect. In the event of a Broncos win, the Washington representatives will offer apples, wine and salmon. If the Seahawks win, those same representatives can feast on delicacies from the Centennial State such as select micro-brews, local tea and thanks to Congressman Gardner, a plate of Rocky Mountain oysters fried up with a side of dipping sauce.
Other catchy euphemisms for the dish include “cowboy caviar,” “Montana tendergroins,” “dusted nuts,” “bull fries,” and “swinging beef.” In more direct words, Rep. Gardner has wagered cattle balls on his home team.
My neighbor loves making mountain oysters.  I remember in high school that he and the ag teacher cooked some up in study hall, and I was the only person other than them to eat any (I love fried foods.  It is the only way I've ever eaten cauliflower, and I'd rather eat bull testicles).  A few years ago,  he made them at my next door neighbor's New Year's Eve party.  Again, only a few of us were willing to eat them (it didn't help that he told them to watch out for soft "cum pockets").  So this year, on the afternoon of the Ohio State-Michigan game, he traveled around the neighborhood cutting bulls.  He cut our township trustee's calves, his dad's and then three of my calves, including one weighing in over half a ton.  He put them all in his "nut bucket" (I shit you not) and was planning on cooking them up at the trustee's shop, but his dog got into the bucket and ate half the nuts.  That made him decide to hoard the rest for himself.  Anyway, if you have the opportunity to try them, I recommend you do.  They're pretty good, and it is a story you can break out to freak out the city folks.  Think McNuggets (which are much better than McRib)  I don't see bull balls on this, but:


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